Hiding how you feel, or lying about it, is a sign that there are serious problems in a relationship. When someone hurts me and I don’t say anything about it, it might mean that I don’t value the relationship. It might mean that I don’t expect the person to change or take me seriously. In some cases, that might be justified, but if I’ve never been honest with that person—if you’ve hurt me and I’ve never been honest with you—then how could I know whether you’d be sorry? How can I know whether you’d be open to treating me differently? In many cases, our own openness to talk is a sign that we really care.